I know it has been a while, I haven't thought of anything to blog about.  one thing I have been thinking about lately has been dating.  In my life, I have never had a Boyfriend.  It's not that I haven't wanted one, or that I haven't liked a guy, but in my life, guy's have just  never been interested in me.  I know personally that I can have a a relationship with a guy, because I am a lot more high functioning then my dad ever was in terms of Autism, and my mom and dad were married for 30 years, before he died.

I have wondered what am I putting out there where no guy ever can even consider dating me without feeling sorry for me.  I know that I have said the wrong thing at times, and that my voice is very different then everyone else, and that I have a nu sound when I am tired.  on top of all that I have suffered from depression for a couple of years now, and it does take a tole on how I feel about myself and what I look like.  What usually happens is that a guy I know, usually a guy I go to church with, asks me out, once a year, around Valentines day, and they do a decent job at the date it's self, but I know exactly why they ask me out, so both of us are dead set against anything else happening.  

I started talking to people on line to help increase my odds, but it seems like the guy's I am interested in don't want to message me back, or the guy's who are interested in me, are total creeps.  It came to my attention that maybe it wasn't all me.  P.S.  guy's, if you are married, you should take the profile off of the internet. also if you are just in the mood for a make-out session, Hook-up, or as you guy's put it, $&**, don't bother, I am not there for that, and I don't know why any girl with any self respect what so ever would do that to herself.

Because of this predicament, I am at a stump as to what I can do next as to my dating situation.  I have asked guy's out, I have even asked guy's to ask me out, but nothing seems to work.  I am convinced at this time that we are just living in a world that is more selfish then any other time in history, and it affects everyone's mood.  Because of this, I believe this could be one reason why there has been a drastic increase in diagnosis in Autism.  A lot of people may genuinely needed help, and the medical and School system are changing because of it, however some people may try to use a diagnosis to there advantage, and it is my belief that the diagnosis for Autism is not for the person who has it, it's for everyone else.  There is still a stigma with people who have  Autism, and part of me carries that, and I can not hide everything that people notice about me that is odd.

I really hope this was helpful for someone, and that I am not just ranting for no reason, but this is a sensitive spot for me, and with that said, I think I better end this post.